If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
