They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
