Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
