We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
