yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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