All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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