sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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