you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize