Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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