Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
