Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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