No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
