singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
