If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
