We're like a lot better than the average bears
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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