Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize