Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
