He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
that's an acceptable place to lick
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Randomize
