I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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