Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He passed out mid-signature
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so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
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She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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