Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.

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(404): View more from Georgia

He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.

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(775): View more from Nevada

For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.

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(703): View more from Virginia

there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...

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(301): View more from Maryland

Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.

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(563): View more from Iowa

Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.

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(419): View more from Ohio

Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.

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(406): View more from Montana

I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.

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