so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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