I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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