Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
