I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
