I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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