in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize