So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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