Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
