She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
