at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
