I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
