i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Randomize
