You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
