ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the knife in your bed.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize