You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize