So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
