Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
