So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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