I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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