I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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