Who did Billy Mays play for?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
