no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
