I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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