i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
