So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
now i know why i became what i already was.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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