My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
