Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist... http://tfl.nu/i7x2
  Replies (15) Good night (4919) Bad night (912)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight. http://tfl.nu/u2b0
  Replies (28) Good night (1064) Bad night (4735)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow http://tfl.nu/owei
  Replies (102) Good night (5395) Bad night (1368)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy http://tfl.nu/gete
  Replies (19) Good night (1723) Bad night (3715)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today. http://tfl.nu/pv8p
  Replies (16) Good night (866) Bad night (5371)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck http://tfl.nu/04pl
  Replies (6) Good night (2585) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (692): View more from

  I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (692): I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger http://tfl.nu/6k76
  Replies (1) Good night (1078) Bad night (487)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  No...this little piggys going to the bar

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): No...this little piggys going to the bar http://tfl.nu/e3y1
  Replies (5) Good night (1765) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina http://tfl.nu/ymsd
  Replies (3) Good night (647) Bad night (1024)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :( http://tfl.nu/bt8b
  Replies (2) Good night (925) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home http://tfl.nu/5cvq
  Replies (5) Good night (706) Bad night (542)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this" http://tfl.nu/544k
  Replies (8) Good night (1197) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir. http://tfl.nu/2mq7
  Replies (4) Good night (662) Bad night (364)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (763): Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns? http://tfl.nu/frcg
  Replies (2) Good night (354) Bad night (262)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight. http://tfl.nu/p204
  Replies (3) Good night (180) Bad night (368)

Randomize