found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.