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you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
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