Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.

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  (323): Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong. http://tfl.nu/sxrt
  Replies (4) Good night (2358) Bad night (668)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.

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  (727): I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place. http://tfl.nu/vbxd
  Replies (18) Good night (5994) Bad night (1054)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.

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  (647): making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself. http://tfl.nu/as80
  Replies (8) Good night (1264) Bad night (2929)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.

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  (440): Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table. http://tfl.nu/pm1l
  Replies (3) Good night (2053) Bad night (1083)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.

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  (701): so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick. http://tfl.nu/5ub0
  Replies (12) Good night (3904) Bad night (908)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.

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  (443): The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook. http://tfl.nu/hkf6
  Replies (6) Good night (1574) Bad night (989)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.

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  (518): I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures. http://tfl.nu/io2e
  Replies (3) Good night (1712) Bad night (486)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.

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  (773): I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea. http://tfl.nu/j1n0
  Replies (9) Good night (581) Bad night (1599)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW

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  (+44): As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW http://tfl.nu/48d7
  Replies (8) Good night (836) Bad night (463)
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  (516): View more from New York

  sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day

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  (516): sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day http://tfl.nu/3ryn
  Replies (3) Good night (562) Bad night (849)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.

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  (386): Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together. http://tfl.nu/96ms
  Replies (3) Good night (796) Bad night (335)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D

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  (402): Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D http://tfl.nu/eelv
  Replies (2) Good night (677) Bad night (359)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?

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  (918): I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far? http://tfl.nu/cfji
  Replies (0) Good night (463) Bad night (289)
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  (951): View more from California

  Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."

  (713): View more from Texas

  Well thank god i want six autographed copies

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  (951): Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles." (713): Well thank god i want six autographed copies http://tfl.nu/b8sw
  Replies (3) Good night (553) Bad night (492)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too

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  (443): yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too http://tfl.nu/ly7w
  Replies (0) Good night (340) Bad night (170)

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