At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks