do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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