Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(601): View more from Mississippi

I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker

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(601): I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker http://tfl.nu/yjj7

Replies (1) Good night (669) Bad night (1437)
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(540): View more from Virginia

i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!

(804): View more from Virginia

a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.

(804): View more from Virginia

That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.

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(540): i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater! (804): a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf. (804): That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit. http://tfl.nu/wspf

Replies (115) Good night (915) Bad night (3250)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.

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(778): Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them. http://tfl.nu/fuhs

Replies (15) Good night (4710) Bad night (769)
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(573): View more from Missouri

Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?

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(573): Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night? http://tfl.nu/dwv8

Replies (23) Good night (4736) Bad night (1284)
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(602): View more from Arizona

I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank

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(602): I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank http://tfl.nu/1dw8

Replies (8) Good night (5912) Bad night (479)
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(916): View more from California

We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.

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(916): We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame. http://tfl.nu/u712

Replies (17) Good night (881) Bad night (4362)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston

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(781): I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston http://tfl.nu/zjjv

Replies (7) Good night (1142) Bad night (1886)
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(260): View more from Indiana

I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.

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(260): I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much. http://tfl.nu/tatw

Replies (5) Good night (1021) Bad night (466)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience

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(703): Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience http://tfl.nu/mhgr

Replies (5) Good night (1319) Bad night (532)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes

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(609): The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes http://tfl.nu/oauk

Replies (3) Good night (892) Bad night (474)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.

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(603): I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP. (1-603): It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay. http://tfl.nu/8z7g

Replies (8) Good night (1447) Bad night (457)
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(469): View more from Texas

I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...

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(469): I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom... http://tfl.nu/pwb7

Replies (9) Good night (1119) Bad night (573)
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(360): View more from Washington

I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.

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(360): I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise. http://tfl.nu/2iu1

Replies (7) Good night (1576) Bad night (359)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.

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(401): i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher. http://tfl.nu/v6bw

Replies (2) Good night (817) Bad night (309)
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(773): View more from Illinois

In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month

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(773): In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month http://tfl.nu/vo21

Replies (6) Good night (1374) Bad night (262)

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