I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
