It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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