We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize