well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
