kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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