i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
