Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
