6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
